Protaras Holidays from AU$3,556

Let’s start with the positives — won’t take long: the rooms are spacious, breakfast is à la carte (which I actually prefer), and there’s a “refreshing room” you can use for a shower if you have a late flight. That’s pretty much where the excitement ends. Now, let’s talk reality. The pool is right next to a busy road — so forget about peace and quiet unless you’ve got noise-cancelling headphones or enjoy the smell of exhaust fumes. Housekeeping? Well… I spilled coffee near the sofa. The stain stayed with me for 7 days — we really bonded. Weekends? Say goodbye to sleep. The rooftop bar turns into a party zone until 1:30 AM. So either bring earplugs or join the party — there’s no in-between. And here comes the best part: the hotel proudly claims “150 meters to the sea” on their website. Technically true… if you’re a seagull flying over rooftops. What they don’t mention is that the nearest beach is actually 1 kilometer away. My room had a “slum view” — very authentic. On the bright side, it was quieter than the pool-view rooms, which come with front-row access to the bar noise. Bottom line: if you have low expectations, strong earplugs, and a sense of humor — this place might just be for you.

Apartment was beautiful and could not fault the service. Thank you Palmiers team for making our holiday special

It was good and near the beach